Little girls (I'm convinced) equal at least some quiet time, pretty dresses and bows in hair and pleasant shopping trips...but little boys are a whole different story. I think I'm qualified to make the above general statement (even though I don't own any little girls).
When you have a baby boy, one thing is almost guaranteed - I say 'almost' because I'm sure there is an exception to the rule - somewhere...although my husband maintains that the smiling, placid children on cereal boxes do not exist...
Where was I? Oh yes, the one thing that is guaranteed...actually there are two. The first is that you will lose your mind. The second is that you will end up in the emergency department of your local hospital with a situation you just can't explain. And I'm not including fevers and normal illnesses here...I'm talking silly, bizarre, stupid accidents.
Thomas had us at the hospital a few years back with a fractured toe and we still don't know if the story we gave was the correct one...it was a guess put together via circumstantial evidence.
Now it is Daniel's turn. The possibility of ending up in emergency with Daniel is a daily occurrence...sometimes I don't know how he escapes serious injury with the things he gets up to. We are always holding our breath, gasping in horror and/or screaming in alarm.
Maybe I am getting used to it because I hardly reacted when a frantic Thomas and a crying Daniel came storming up to me a couple of days ago saying Daniel had money in his tummy. To tell you the truth I was skeptical. Even after they had repeated the story a few times, I wondered if it had all been made up...part of their usual imaginary play? How could a kid swallow a coin whilst standing? Lying down I could understand...a coin could slip down the throat...but standing? Wouldn't there have to be some deliberate swallowing motion? What kid would purposely swallow money?! Actually, it wasn't out of the realm of possibility for Daniel... *
I was just going to wait and see if the coin - which they told me was a "yellow" one (a gold $1 or $2 coin) - came out the other end. However, my mum insisted we ring the local doctor and she in turn advised us to go to the hospital for x-rays.
And sure enough - Bingo! There is the $2 coin (Daniel had surprisingly picked it out of a line up prior to the x-ray) lodged somewhere (I'm not good with anatomy) and making its way down!
Solution: We have to wait a couple of days and make sure it has come out. How do we make sure (without having to go back for another x-ray)? Well, you guessed it - we have to sift through poo!
I did send out this job ad to certain family members:
Poo sifter required. No experience necessary. Must be thorough. Payment? The joy of knowing you have helped out your little nephew/cousin.
Surprisingly, there were no takers... and when some poo was actually delivered for examination yesterday, nobody could stomach the thought of sifting through it...except me of course! Another job they don't tell you about when you're pregnant/deliver your baby...
So with great intestinal fortitude, I sliced up the poo with a plastic knife. Thomas and Daniel hovered over me with great anticipation...but no jackpot :(
We now sit and wait for the golden poo to arrive...I shall keep you posted :)
* For the record, it was an accident...sort of. Daniel put the coin in his mouth. Thomas attempted to 'save' him and take it out. In the struggle that followed, the coin slipped down Daniel's throat.