The Importance of Tongs in a
Male-dominated Household
If you had asked me 10 or so years ago what I thought the most indispensable item would be in a household filled with males, I may have answered along the lines of air freshener or large fridge. And whilst those items still rank pretty damn high (flatulence is celebrated and hunger is always severe), it suddenly dawned on me that the humble BBQ tongs are right up there in the importance department. I should know because I live with four males. Whilst my husband uses them to rule the BBQ, I have found alternate uses for them...not the same pair mind you...that would be a tad disgusting. No, I have my own pair and like a superhero's weapon, they have saved me from many a dire situation.
Time for a Flashback
As long-time readers of this blog may recall, my darling sons Tom and Dan had quite a penchant for stuffing things down drains when they were younger. In November of 2007 I wrote about how they stuffed socks down the laundry drain...
... and then in December of that year, they upped the ante with socks and singlets jammed down the toilet.
About a year later, it was crayons down the outside drain...
and so it went on...
Fast-forward to the Present
Yesterday afternoon was a little chaotic here to say the least. I had rushed home from school pick-ups (Daniel whining all the way that I had picked him up too early) to meet a carpenter here. As an aside, my husband is a carpenter, but apparently he couldn't do the job. The carpenter was here to fit a lock on the study door to stop my youngest from stealing things...like the mouse from the computer!
Anyway, I had to leave the garage doors open so the carpenter could go in and out and this basically led to full blown anarchy. I had Samuel screaming his lungs out as I tried to keep him in the backyard - he of course wanted to run straight out the front. I had Thomas and Daniel whingeing and complaining that they were starving and needed Tiny Teddies immediately (as you do when you are starving). I also had Samuel pooping and then struggling and screaming some more whilst I tried to change him (due to damn bad case of nappy rash), at which time Thomas was whining and yelling about something else! And I had the carpenter taking his sweet time... To say that I was stressed was an understatement. I wanted to scream at the poor man and say, "Can you hurry the f*** up! Can't you see and hear that I have a situation on my hands!?" Alas, the high pitched screaming, akin to someone being tortured (I'm imagining) didn't seem to bother him. Not so sure about the neighbours.
Where do the tongs fit in? Well, whilst I was preoccupied trying to restrain and calm Samuel, the other two found two hidden slimy toys...you know, those rubbery, slimy things that stretch and get flung and stuck on all sorts of surfaces. They usually look grotty after about 2 seconds of being played with as well. Yes, they found them and proceeded to fling them left, right and centre...thankfully outside after I told them to "get out" through gritted teeth!
And lo and behold, as boys do, they flung their little slimy creatures where they shouldn't...up, up and stuck to our new, pristine white alfresco ceiling. The carpenter smiled as he left, saying he had bought the same toy for his grandson. Great present Grandpa!
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| Creature one - stuck |
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| Creature two - also stuck |
More ranting ensued...I'm sure the neighbours were highly amused. I tried standing on a step ladder but to no avail...so out came the trusty BBQ tongs! So there I was, wobbling and outstretched on a step ladder with tongs pointed skyward as I tried to pry the damn creatures from the ceiling...all the while screaming at the two eldest to keep Samuel from attacking the ladder and painting scenarios of how their father would react to this latest episode. Incidentally, he didn't lose his cool despite the marks left on the ceiling...I reminded him that being one of 5 kids and 4 of them being boys, he had surely got up to much worse! After some time, I eventually managed to get the creatures "un-stuck", although they left their mark on the ceiling!
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| Rather un-attractive shot of me trying to "un-stick" the creatures! I can only thank God my belly wasn't sticking out as Daniel took this photo. The ceiling was higher than it looked - at least a BBQ tongs-length away... |
So there you have it. A pair of spare BBQ tongs is a must-have accessory in a household dominated by males. Heck, I would even venture to say they are essential in a household with one male child!
Ironically, a pair of tongs formed part of Thomas' Mother's Day gift from his first Mother's Day stall earlier this year... every time I have them on the table, Thomas is chuffed that I am using "his" tongs. Sometimes he is so chuffed that he feels the need to tease Daniel ("haha Mum's using my tongs!") at which point Daniel bursts into tears because he hasn't got a pair of tongs. I rest my case. Tongs are essential in households containing the male species!
Ironically, a pair of tongs formed part of Thomas' Mother's Day gift from his first Mother's Day stall earlier this year... every time I have them on the table, Thomas is chuffed that I am using "his" tongs. Sometimes he is so chuffed that he feels the need to tease Daniel ("haha Mum's using my tongs!") at which point Daniel bursts into tears because he hasn't got a pair of tongs. I rest my case. Tongs are essential in households containing the male species!
So, what comical item have you found has been an indispensable item in your household?
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| The mini-tongs that are the cause of boasting and fights. Go figure! |
