The Baby of the Family

Samuel began at daycare/preschool this morning. He is almost 28 months old. Last year when I would take him along to drop Daniel off, he would always cry (and sometimes scream) because he also wanted to stay. I wasn't sure how he would handle today. His reaction? Very relaxed. Didn't phase him at all. That didn't shock me I suppose. What did shock me was my reaction. I cried when I said goodbye!

Thomas and Daniel were both younger when they started and I'm pretty sure I didn't cry. Thomas' first visit got a bit of a mention in a blog post, Daniel's didn't rate at all. I was back at work, busy and just needed to drop them and run. They did cry for me sometimes and that broke my heart but I never actually cried (okay, maybe just once in the car, overwhelmed by having to work and having to leave them). I don't think I cried when Thomas started school either, even though I was a bit emotional. But today I cried - in front of all the staff! You know why? Because Samuel is my baby and no matter how old he gets, he'll always be my baby. I now understand why it's a universal truth that youngest siblings are spoilt. No matter how many siblings there are, if you are lucky enough to land last spot, you can pretty much go out and get a t-shirt printed - "spoilt" (alternatively known as "getting away with murder").


I put him in Daniel's old pre-school shirt
and he has Daniel's old back pack.
lol is that mean?



"Aunty Grace, I need a haircut! Mum obviously doesn't
know I have to impress!"


Now "spoilt" isn't to be confused with "more loved" - although it is often confused with this by older siblings. It just means they get away with more because they are the baby of the family and they are never forced to give up that privileged position. I'll give you an example. Today, when I dropped Samuel off, I had to tell the staff that he doesn't share! That is a common trait of toddlers but I never felt obliged to say this when Thomas or Daniel were starting. And the reason he doesn't share is because I don't make him. I hear him fighting with his brothers over a toy - he is inevitably screeching the loudest - and automatically I  scream like a madwoman tell the other two to "just give him what he wants!" I just want to keep the peace so I can finish preparing dinner or whatever it is I am doing. This solution may have been okay when he was not yet one and did not understand but he is now older than two!! Even though I tell Thomas and Daniel that "he doesn't understand, he's just a baby" - he full well understands the power of his lungs and he is not a "baby" - just my baby.*

I feel sorry for some of my nieces and nephews who have had a sibling come along after a large gap of many years...they thought they had the whole gig sewn up, then they were pipped by a late arriving sibling! That kind of sucks, but remember your parents love you equally (even if they do spoil the baby)!

I'm conscious of all of the above which I guess is better than just doing it and not realising what I'm doing. I promise to try and make Samuel more responsible. And now just a couple of notes for when the boys read this as teenagers:

Note to Thomas and Daniel: Yes, your brother is spoilt. Yes he is my baby. But you two are my babies in different ways. It all evens out in the grand scheme of things. My heart bursts at the seams equally for all of you. So please don't come to me complaining. I'm hoping to have the problem sorted by now. If not, please come and discuss. Don't beat your brother up!

Note to Samuel: Yes, you're cute. We all think that. Even Thomas and Daniel. But you can't play on your baby status/birth order all your life. Remember, your brothers are older than you - they can make your life miserable - share your stuff!

* As predicted, in the 2 hours I left him there today, Samuel managed to get into "a couple of scuffles" (whatever that means). I presume it was over toys but didn't really ask for details. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Hope it wasn't anything too bad!

Where do you fit in the family pecking order?

Do you think it's true that the youngest is spoilt?